Saturday, August 31, 2019

Artistic Disillusion - A conversation

A conversation about the damage of 

-Artistic Disillusion-

  Artistic Disillusion, to me is when something happens in your life that destroys your faith and understanding of what it means to be an artist. Maybe a tragic event changed the way you viewed yourself, or maybe after years of enjoying what you do all of a sudden your expectations for yourself grow out of control to a destructive degree. I've seen this happen to many people, myself included.

In my honest opinion Artistic Disillusion is a very destructive habit. It fuels that voice in your head by giving you ammo that whatever you are doing is pointless, or negative for your life. The voice starts telling you that no matter how hard you try there's no reason to keep making that song, or drawing those pictures because no matter what you do youll never live up to the expectations and needs your spiteful conscious expects of you. It gets worse when you struggle to monetize your work, while drowning in adult responsibilities that leave you feeling empty and crushed.

I don't know if its a mental illness thing, derived from bipolar, or depression, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is its real, and we HAVE to work past it. I've spent 3 years of my life so far trying to dig myself out of the toxic spiral I've shoved myself into. 

Have I accomplished this dubious goal? Well, not entirely...

There's a lot of healing that needs to be done. I've mainly been focusing on maintaining a positive outlook on art, and posting without thinking about the benefits or consequences. I've tried many different social media sites to build my confidence and find a community that makes me feel positive. In my opinion, I think artistic connection is very helpful to deal with this stress. It enforces another reason for art, and allows you to be praised for what you've accomplished which is a fantastic thing.

No matter what your trauma is that has made you disillusioned about your love of art, just know theres ways past it, and people who want to remind you how much art means to you. Don't give up on your passion, even if the fire has been mistreated in the past, start feeding the flame by focusing on things that will make it grow, things you love. 

Try not to focus on how many people are being warmed by it, because art, to me, is inherently a selfish endeavor meant for the artist.

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