I'm feeling Expressive
Some doodles from practicing on the Direkt Tek Laptop. It's pretty cool!
There's also a rant-ish piece that id love for you to read, under the READ MORE.
Ah, Of course, here we sit in the middle of the night again. Just you, me, and our computers. We contemplate what to make, how to be successful, and what we need to do to make sure the people we love are okay. It's one of the hardest things in the world, finding yourself and how to be happy, especially when you rely on people everyday to make sure you keep breathing.
I don't expect to ever have anything others envy. Success, and money will never be my friends. That said, I do hope that I can look back and say I finally found out what made me happy. I finally found out how to smile and make the most of everyday. I've experienced some wonderful things but theres always doubt when your not working. There's always the back of your head screaming that you need to be productive, and sure 16 year old me would hate the fact that I'm not doing meaningful work. I've spent the last 5 years trying to teach myself how to love drawing and creating again.
I've been given opportunities to try again at the normal ways of life, to step out of my delusions and find myself a new life. To wake up. Although it would help, when I look at the happiness I can give to my daughter, and my girlfriend when I'm not stressed, when I see how I can spend my life caring for them it resonates in me in a way nothing else has. I want to be their heroes. I want to show them how to love, and how to live.
It's a bunch of cutesy mumbo jumbo, but when you're sitting down at that computer late in the day, beating yourself up over whatever you are or are not doing. Just remember to love whatever it is youre doing. Remember that theres no specific or right way to live the time we have alive. We just have to sit back sometimes and find a calm. To find the pristine stream that lets who you truly are flow out into the people who are most important to you.
The truth is, being an artist for me is expressing my inner need for peace.